Ski Instructors Report 6 April 2013

My season is finally over. It has been a great season for snow but not such a good one for weather. At least I was not being constantly asked “Any snow forecast?” on glorious sunny days. These were sadly very few this seasons. My last group was a difficult one, with some wanting the group to travel faster and some wanting it to be slower. As I have often said in these reports, if you want a lesson to be 100% at your pace, book a private lesson. Most of the group were very nice and thoroughly enjoyed the week, in spite of having more snowy days and sunny ones. I was fortunate to meet a lot of friends who were clients in previous seasons. I hope that I may see some of this years’ clients back in the future. I keep meeting lots of friends who return to the Hotel Palarine each year. Arinsal does have a large band of loyal clients, who all seem to enjoy returning this friendly little village. I will say goodbye to anyone reading this and I hope to start these weekly reports in December. In the meantime, “Have a Great Summer.”

Ski Instructors Report 30 March 2013

Last week, I said that I would tell you about the Music Festival. Well, I did not hear much music, i.e. sounds from musical instruments played by musicians. I did hear a lot of sounds produce electronically on a computer, then repeated constantly and left on a loop. This seemed very popular with the 800 young persons who attended the festival. Many stood in rows banging their heads in time to whatever rhythm decided by the knob twirler. It was not my scene. The only music I heard was from the Velvet Blues, who were given an extra gig for the festival. Sadly, the people who attend such events cannot be trusted with sharp objects, so I had to drink my beer from a PLASTIC beaker. The organisers considered the week a great success and are looking forward to holding it again next year. If you are this sort of person who enjoys such events, I would suggest that you book early, as this year’s event sold out very quickly. I was watching the BBC News in my room at the Palarine and heard that the Home Secretary is changing the Border Security agency. This has prompted me to tell you about my experience as an economic migrant. Andorra treats migrants very differently from the U.K. When I am offered work, I have to take my employer’s offer and a clean British Police Report to immigration. Then I am sent for a blood test and medical to make sure that I am not bringing unwanted diseases in to the country. If any young person looks upon his ASBO, as a badge of honour, they may well find themselves being unable to work in a bar or as a ski instructor. On second thoughts, if they have an ASBO, they are more likely to snowboarders rather than skiers. If all goes well, when one starts to work, you will be covered by the Andorra Health Service, AFTER a period of time and have made sufficient contributions. The health service will pay 75% of all medical services or 100% if it is an injury at work. There is no such thing as unemployment benefit. It is a case of work or go home. It is possible to live in Andorra without working. You must prove that you have full private medical insurance and show proof of sufficient income to live on and rather controversially, deposit €30,000 with the Government. This will be returned to you on death or departure from Andorra and have incurred no local debts. I think in some ways Britain could learn something about immigration from Andorra There is only one week left before the resort closes. The weather has been very mild and I am starting to think about returning to England. I have enjoyed this season, which has produced more snow than any other that I can remember.

Ski Instructors Report 28 March 2013

Most of my reports appear to be about the weather. I am only going to say that we are enjoying spring weather at last. Once again I had a very cheerful class of beginners. We all had a great time and four of them came down to the Palarine for the excellent Oriental Buffet and dancing to live music in the bar afterwards. I had several dances with two special friends Anne and C####. When I met up with the second young lady she apologised to me, for falling on top of me whilst dancing. I pointed out that I was dancing with Anne at the time she was dancing with Eric when they fell. Her reply was “Who the hell is Eric.” Apparently both ladies enjoyed there evening out. The festival goers have arrived and the bars were very lively. Sadly I have heard of two fights on Friday night, one was dealt with swiftly by the bar staff but the other one involved the Police. I must point out to prospective troublemakers that the Police here will deal with them very robustly. The best they can hope for is to be escorted to the border and deported. On the other hand, the prison here has lovely views of the mountains. The government here respects law and order and does not agree with the British way of placing the human rights of criminals above the safety and security of the honest citizen. I hope that last night was a one off and that the music festival is a great success and is enjoyed by all who are attending. There are only two more weeks of this season to go.

Ski Instructors Report 9 March 2013

I did not send a report last week as I was in England for an eye appointment. The weather in England could be best described as “gloomy”. It did make me realize how fortunate I am to be able to spend my winters in Andorra. We had some wet weather this week but we also had some lovely days. Some days it rained in the village with snow on the mountain. My group this week was what we call “dry slope/advanced beginners.” Some had just been on a dry slope and some had previously skied, some in Bulgaria and found that they had not improved as much as they would have liked. They all made great progress during the week, except one lovely young lady, who chose to overdo the Pub Crawl and failed to arrive for Tuesday’s lesson. On Monday she was one of the best in the group but on her return to the class on Wednesday, she was amazed at the progress the others had made. She tried very hard to keep pace with the others but was exhausted after two hours and retired from the class. I was very sad at this, as I am happy to travel at the speed of the slowest in the group. (I get paid by the hour not the miles traveled) She was such a nice lad and she did not want to slow down the others. (The second slowest lady in the group pleaded with her to stay.) Alas to no avail. The moral of this story is: do not overdo your après ski to an extent that you miss a day’s skiing. Yes, please enjoy your evenings but remember you can get drunk in Norwich, or any other English town, but you cannot ski the mountains there. The end of the season is in sight, four more weeks, so we have fewer guests. This makes the après ski a little quieter, however my nights out have all been very jolly. Karaoke in the Derby was fun, Elvis entertained the crowd in the Quo Vadis, Mike had a very enjoyable evening in the Palarine on Thursday, Semipro were as raucous as ever in El Cau and the Velvet Blues played brilliantly in Bogart’s albeit to a small audience. Some of the hotels are offering great end of season deals to the independent traveler. So if you fancy an inexpensive end of season jolly, get in touch with the hotels direct.

Ski Instructors Report 25 February 2013

This week has seen the best weather of the season. It has been bright but cold, keeping the snow in great condition. I was thankful for the good weather as I had a children’s group. They all thoroughly enjoyed themselves. What a change good weather makes when you have children; when it is snowing their goggles steam up, their noses run, their gloves become sodden and they have a miserable time. Monday is always a difficult day with children, they cannot put their skis on or side step up the hill. After two days building up their confidence, they then become overconfident and my job for the last two days, is to restrain their enthusiasm and stop them looking for steeper slopes and bigger jumps. After laying down some strict rules and threatened punishments (usually the threat on putting them in a slower class with smaller children) my class were well behaved. If anyone fell, another would always stop and offer help and at break times them sat together and shared their food and drinks. My intermediate adult group thought that the weather was great and all enjoyed the skiing, although some had a restricted time due to the need to look after their younger offspring. I enjoyed this week although I found it tiring have two groups and children are always more stressful than adults. The après ski was as expected, crowded and jolly in the early evenings but very quiet later. This week, I met many old friends who had returned for another visit to Arinsal. One complained that I had stopped sending my weekly reports. This is not true as I send this report to several sites that promote Arinsal (and a copy to my lovely ladies in my badminton club in England, they like to know that I am alive and well and behaving myself.) The webmasters of the various sites are free to do what they like with the report. Some may choose not to post it either because they do not like the content or merely because they forgot. I am returning to the U.K. on Monday, so there will not be a report next week.

Ski Instructors Report 17 February 2013

Last Sunday, I had a glorious morning of powder skiing under a cold clear blue sky. I was accompanied by my friends Corinne and Special K. We were really enjoying ourselves until Corinne and I had to go to work at lunchtime. After we finished our lessons, it had become overcast and then, we had even more snow. It was Special K’s first day so she finished skiing soon after we did. She is one of many repeat guests that we get in Arinsal. She has been coming here for several years and always books ski school, as she enjoys the social side of being in a class. Over the years most of the English instructors have had her, at sometime or other, in their class. She feels that Arinsal is like a second home as she is now familiar with a lot of the long term workers. This endorses what I often say, that Arinsal is a really friendly little village. I had two groups this week and I am sorry to say for the first three days we had poor skiing conditions due to it snowing on and off for most of the time. However, we had brilliant weather and snow conditions for their last three days. I think that my intermediate group and my beginners really enjoyed their week. Some were talking about returning next season. Après ski was quiet this week, as it was half term in some parts of the U.K. Therefore we had a lot of families, who had early nights. In my beginners’ class were several Welsh school teachers, who did not have any children with them, so they were able to party. Next week is the main half term week and as I have often mentioned before - avoid this week unless you really have to come then. The hotels are expensive, the slopes and lifts are crowded, and the bars and restaurants are crowded early evening then deserted later. There are very few young people in the village, so they are unable to meet other young people and do whatever young people do when they meet other young people. I am always glad when half term week is over, then we can get back to being a ski resort. Sadly half term means that we are past half way through the season and it reminds us that the end is nigh.

Ski Instructor Report 8 February 2013

Snow, snow and even more snow. That is what we have had this week. I had a class of advanced beginners/dry slopers. On the Monday morning, they did a little assessment before we split them into two groups. (I always tell them that there will be a FAST group and a VERY FAST group.) This week I had the first group, who in fact were very slow. This may have been due to the poor visibility and the fact that they were skiing on new snow. Later that day the snow stopped and it brighten up and Tuesday was very nice and the whole group made great improvements. We all enjoyed our day. We had more snow on the Wednesday but the group had advance so much that they handled it with easy, many of them making parallel turns. Everyone was looking forward to another great day on Thursday. But it continued to snow heavily overnight and the resort was unable to open on Thursday or Friday, due the vast amount of snow. The nearby resort of Pal was able to open some lifts and a some of the guests went there for the day on the bus. I have been having a hectic après ski this week. I was having a quiet drink in the Quo Vadis bar, when Graham from the Palarine arrived with two extremely attractive blonde girls,in their twenties. He explained that they were staying in the Palarine and wanted to visit the village but were worried about getting back. He gave them a lift up to Arinsal and explained that I safely make the journey back every evening. They were soon surrounded by off duty local workers. After a few drinks there, we moved onto the Derby, where we listened to the live music. Random guys were coming up to us and buying the ladies wine. I mention earlier that we had snow over the weekend, so I one of the barmen, who was not drinking, if he could give up a lift to the Palarine. He very willingly did so. Graham was still working in the bar when we returned, so he offered us a night cap. The girls thought that a Baileys would be nice and help them sleep. I went to work as usual for 9’clock and I later discovered that they had a late start, having enjoyed the full English at the Palarine. They went up the mountain but one of the ladies felt unwell due to, as she said altitude sickness. She also told me that she did not remember getting a lift home, nor having a nightcap in the Palarine. It would appear that altitude sickness also causes amnesia. Perhaps the medical world should investigate this further. The following night they went with others on the Pub Crawl. I was in a bar, when the ladies arrived with those on the pub crawl. I discovered that the one with altitude sickness had decided to drink only non-alcoholic drinks, as she thought that his may help her condition. The other lady was enjoying her evening having beaten two men in beer drinking race. They were on the third pub of the crawl. She seemed very happy and enjoying her evening out but sadly fell asleep on the bar table. Again the bar staff were magnificent; Kevin from Quo gave the keys of his Jeep to the camera man to take us home. Stuart and I carried her through the nearby kitchen door to the jeep at the side entrance, so as not to embarrass the lady. She awoke as we arrived at the Palarine and wanted a nightcap, but before she had finished it she felt asleep again. I helped her friend to carry her to the lift and they successfully made it to their room. We all met up at midday, after my class and we thoroughly enjoyed our ski together. They were both extremely good skiers and I was able to ski at almost my usual pace. They enjoyed the rest of the week in a less hectic manner, especially the live music party at the Palarine on Thursday. They want to return here next season.

Ski Instructor Report 2 February 2013

My clients this week enjoyed good weather and great skiing. It was one of those groups that I really enjoy teaching, they worked hard at their skiing and they had a good time in the evenings. Half of the class came to the Burns’ party at the Palarine on Thursday night. (More about that later.) I started by saying that they had good weather, I should have added; until Friday night when it started to snow again. As I write this, I can see that the resort is covered by thick cloud and it is still snowing. I had a great week for partying. It started with my Burns’ party in Bogart’s. I looked splendid in my kilt. (My opinion) It was well attended and a group of instructs joined us for the dancing. I should point out at this stage that they had been celebrating an instructor’s birthday since 5 pm. Their enthusiasm far exceeded their skill or knowledge of Scottish dancing. They made it a very entertaining evening. As well as the British home nations the event was attended by people from; American, Andorra, Chile, France, Germany Portugal Russia and Spain. (I apologise to any nationality that I failed to mention.) There was a small hiccup; the Catalan chef did not realise that HAGGIS has to be cooked. This caused a slight delay whist it was taken back to the kitchen. This gave us time for more dancing. Eventually the haggis was presented and addressed then thoroughly enjoyed by those present. Several people were tasting haggis for the first time; they seemed to be enjoying it until I read out the traditional ingredients, including the bit about it all being boiled in a sheep’s stomach. As our party came to an end, the Velvet Blues Band started to play. They started their session with very upbeat music and soon had a lot of people dancing. As usual, I enjoy myself and hope that others did so as well. We also had a Burns’ Party at the Palarine on Thursday. This is usually in the form of a traditional Burns’ supper but due to several circumstances, it was changed to a very eclectic evening. It started with the ever popular, eat as much as you like, Oriental Buffet. This was followed by music from Mike Jones, who normally does Elvis impressions. We interspersed this with Scottish dancing and some poetry. Josh Cuell performed his now famous, gangnam style, with great applause afterwards. I think that one of the best turns was Mike singing Elvis songs to Scottish music. Half my group attended and said that they had had a great evening. The Irish found it easy to adapt to Scottish dancing. As an example of how popular Arinsal is; I would like to point out that my entire group, except two, had been to Arinsal last year. Last season was a poor one for snow but this is one of the best for years. The group all seemed very happy with the conditions. More snow is forecast for tomorrow, then hopefully good weather for the new arrivals.

Ski Instructor Report 26 January 2013

“Any snow forecast?” That is the second most frequently asked question to an instructor.( What do you do in the summer?” is the most frequent.) For the last two weeks we have not heard that question, due to the fact that it has snowed virtually every day for a fortnight. However, on Friday morning the sun shone and the sky was a magnificent shade of blue. The snow was deep cold and powdery. It was a brilliant day for skiing. I took a group of Irish clients up the mountain for the first time. They found the view stunning and the skiing great. We all thoroughly enjoyable lesson. By the way, the snow has returned on Saturday morning. As I write this on a Saturday morning, my memory of Friday night is very fresh in my mind. So if you forgive me for mentioning again the live music. Semipro in El Cau really have since they formed earlier in the sesaon. Velvet Blues seem to have an endless supply of great guest musicians, who jam with them, giving a great depth to their play list. In the Quo, Elvis had the liveliest audience. I would have made it to the Derby but I was hijacked by my Irish group. We ended up in El Moli, where we played Giant Jenga. Whoever knocked down the pile, had to do a pole dance. Thank goodness ot was not me. The victim was a very attractive Irish girl. I enjoyed that. I did not submit a report last week as I was in England; I had a difficult journey back to Arinsal, due to South West Trains cancelling my train to Gatwick and the following one, due to “The threat of bad weather”. Fortunately my wife picked me up at the station and drove me to the airport. We did not experience and bad weather, although it was very cold. Bad marks to S.W.T. and well done to Easyjet for getting me to Barcelona, in time to catch the Novatel bus, with ten minutes to spare. I was dropped off at the hotel in time for dinner. “Elvis” was not so fortunate, his Ryanair plane from Liverpol was late and he missed the bus. He had to catch the slower Directbus and pick up a taxi from the bus station. He got to the Palarine before the bar closed. When I finish this, I shall unpack my kilt for tonight’s belated Burns’ Party. You will receive a full account in next week’s report.

Ski Instructor Report 13 January 2013

The weather was very warm at the start of this week but turned colder towards the end of the week. The clients enjoyed good skiing conditions. Although the snow was getting thin in places until the snow cannons were able to make snow. The forecast for next week is for temperatures down to -15 , with snow forecast for every day. We must wait and see if the forecasters are correct. I had a very jolly après ski this week; firstly , I was in Quo Vadis listening to Mike ( Arinsal’s top entertainer) perform when a girl from my class came in with some friends, she got me up to dance, we boogied, we danced to smoochy tunes and I supported her in Karaoke. Next day in class, she admitted that she and her friends and had been out drinking earlier and was very drunk when she arrived at the Quo. I found this information devastating, I thought that she danced with me as she thought that I was devastatingly handsome and had irresistible charm. NO, she danced with me, because she had on her “Beer goggles” So you see lads, even ladies wear them occassionly I went to hear Mike at the Palarine on Thursday Party Night following their splendid Oriental buffet. He had an amazing supporting act , Josh Cuell, of the Palarine, who performed “Gangster Style/ He was great. So good in fact, the following night he was invited by Elvis to close his act in the Quo Vadis. The show ended with thunderous applause. (Elvis is alive and appears each Friday evening.) As previously reported Friday Night is Music Night in Arinsal, with live music in the Arinsal bar, El Cau, Quo Vadis, Bogart’s bar and the Derby. I find it hard to fit them all in. I arrived at the El Cau just as the band finished their final session. I did not hear them play but it looked as if the joint was jumping. I am returning to England next week for some eye treatment, so I hope that the forecasted snow does not delay my bus trip to Barcelona. I am looking forward to seeing my family and my badminton friends again and to appearing in four performances of Fawlty Towers on the Groundlings Theatre in Portsmouth. I have minor role and my daughter plays one of the main characters, Polly. There may or may not be a report next week.

Ski Instructor Report 5 January 2013

HAPPY NEW YEAR. This year started well for us in Arinsal, with new snow on the 1st and 2nd. The last couple of days it has turned sunny and warm. We were quite busy this week; I had a morning group of intermediates and an afternoon class of beginners. The morning group was great fun, everyone was here to enjoy themselves and they did. I was unable to take my beginners as far up the mountain as I would have liked. However they all tried very hard and all were pleased with their personal achievements. I cannot report on New Year week without mentioning the après ski; the Palarine had their annual fancy dress party with free bar. This is included for all the hotel guests but the tour companies had not told them about this. Some had made other arrangements or had not brought a costume. (Maria always has a few spare ones). The locals who had booked this evening looked spectacular. Most had made a great effort. I wore my kilt for Hogmanay and visited a few of my usual bars to pass on the seasonal greetings. Several ladies were very keen to find out what I was wearing under my kilt. My stock answer was “Give me your hand and you will find out for yourself.” One screamed “That is gruesome.” My reply was “Yes and it grew some more.” I saw in the South African New Year at the Quo Vadis, then the Andorran New Year back in the Palarine. We stayed up for the British New year then partied for a while. The Party broke up about 3-30 am. The hard worked bar staff went to the Quo to relax and saw in the American New Year. The people clearing up after the late night party were joined by the staff who had arrived to lay up for breakfast. I believe everyone enjoyed themselves. Of course, I retired a bit earlier as I started work at 9 am. All of my class, bar one were on time. Later on in the week, we were entertained at the Palarine by Mike (Elvis) Jones. The guests loved it. This will be a regular gig, on Thursdays, following the “All You Can eat Oriental Buffet” this should prove popular with the locals. Mike’s arrival means that we have even more choice in Arinsal when we are looking for live entertainment.

Ski Instructor Report 29 December 2012

I had a pleasant surprise this week. There were some lovely guests in the Hotel Palarine, who actually read my reports. It is very nice to know that someone reads my rambling thoughts. They even said that they enjoyed some of my reports. I thought that I should give you an update on the smoking ban in Andorra. On the positive side: a bar man told me that he has much more time to serve and talk to customers as he is not constantly clean ashtrays. One pretty barmaid told me that she now feels that she does not have to wash her hair, after every shift, to get rid of the smell of smoke. On the negative side, smokers appear to go out on to the street to enjoy their cigarettes. This means that you can no longer walk down the main street in Arinsal enjoying the clear fresh air. Now you have to go into a shop or bar for fresh air. One of my very nice group complained that there were no tea making facilities in her room. In even cheap B & B s in England you would expect this facility but I cannot remember having this in a ski resort. I have asked, if anyone knew of a hotel in Arinsal which provided a kettle in the room. No one could think of one. So if this is important to you, I suggest that you check with your hotel and bring a travel kettle, if one is not provided. Friday night is music night, so I went out to listen to the bands. Firstly, I went to Bogart’s bar and as usual, enjoyed Velvet Blues. I then went to hear a new band in El Cau. This band has just been formed from local workers and I went there with no great expectations. However, I really was impressed, I thoroughly enjoyed their music. I would describe it as Country Rock mixed with some modern pop. Danny, the front man, did a great job involving the audience. I hope this band will be around for a long time. They are so new they do not appear to have a name yet. I did enquire and someone suggested “Semipro”. I suspect that a more appropriate name will be found in the near future. ( Suggestions please, to the webmaster.) After a pleasant time in El Cau, I moved down the hill and visited the Derby. Their resident musician is Keith, an Irish singer and guitarist. This young man is excellent in audience participation. The whole bar was enjoying his eclectic style of music. He appears there, most days and has an extended session on Fridays. With so much good music in the bars I do not know which bar to go to next week. I think the best solution would be to go to them all.