Ski Instructors Report 22nd December 2012

At last, I have joined the working class. I have had two glorious weeks skiing on well groomed deserted pistes and generally behaving like a ski bum. Now I was given my first class of the season. They are such a jolly group of beginners that I do not look upon it as work. I could say that it is just an extended holiday for me. We have all been meeting each evening to watch the videos of the ski classes. All have been amazed at the rapid progress from the first few stumbles on Monday morning to the slalom race on Friday. The race was won by the 13 year old girl, well deserved victory; some of the other racers had slight hangovers, the rest had big hangovers. My domestic situation at the Palarine has improved as they now have British guests. This means that I start my day with a full English breakfast. Somehow they are able to source real English back bacon and pork sausages. This is a great start to the day and is so much better than the attempts at an English breakfast that I have seen in some hotels, who cater for British tourists down on the Costas. The breakfast is British as is the Sunday roast. This may be my favourite dinner; excellent roast beef with Yorkshires or roast pork with apple sauce. Last Sunday it was accompanied with a choice of 6 vegetables. I say that the Sunday roast is my favour dinner but I also liked the Chinese buffet on Thursday and the Curry night on Friday. When I come to think about it, I also liked the Italian, the Catalan and the Tex Mex evenings. All these are self service buffet; eat as much or little, as you like. I did suggest to Graham that he weighs the guest when they arrive and leave and make a surcharge for each kilo they have gained. So far he has ignored me. We have had mixed weather for skiing but I think that the guests enjoyed the skiing on very quiet pistes. On Sunday we are expecting many more visitors for the Christmas week. Snow is forecast for Christmas day. But we will have to wait and see. I will report back next week and tell you if it arrived.

Ski Instructors Report 16th December 2012

NO SMOKING. That is now the rule in Andorra for all bars and restaurant in Andorra. What a difference it has made for the majority of people. Our Irish and English are quite used to going outside to smoke. The bar staff now have a lot more time as they are not constantly emptying ashtrays and sweep up the mess left by smokers. Parents with children will now be prepared to take their children into the bars for a coke and burger if they so wish. I have enjoyed a great week’s skiing on empty slopes but now our guests have arrived, I will have to do some work. On the plus side, it means that I will earn some money to help pay for my après ski actives. Talking about après ski; the Velvet Blues Band was playing in Bogart’s bar last weekend. I enjoy this group’s performances, especially the delightful lady keyboard player, who does some great Amy Winehouse covers. I thought that she looked stunning, with heels slightly longer than the length of her miniskirt. I like her; in fact, all the lads like her, even some of the gay snowboarders like her. The group play a good mix of blues, early rock and modern pop. They told me that they hope to be playing most weekends in Bogart’s. I am looking forward to their next performance.

Ski Instructors Report 8th December 2012

The resort has been open for one week and it has been a great week for snow. Although on the days that it snowed the visibility was poor. Wednesday was fantastic with a clear blue sky and a lot of untracked powder. The Spanish arrived on Friday for the long weekend (The Immaculate Conception, for those of you who had not been to Sunday school for a long time) There were more people on the pistes but still not crowded. It just seemed slightly more congested as I have been spoiled by the having the whole run to myself. The amount of snow we have bodes well for the first Crystal clients who are arriving on the 16th. I understand that there will only be a lucky few on the first flightI have often been asked what one should wear on a skiing holiday, here are a few of my thoughts on the subject, others may disagree; Let’s start at the top; Safety helmet or not? I do not have one but always encourage anyone who asks me, to get one. Some people wait until AFTER they have taken a knock, it is better to buy one before the accident rather than after. In cold weather, I will wear a woolly hat, it is important that it covers the ears. On sunny days, on the beginners’ slopes, I will sometimes wear a peaked cap to keep the sun out off my eyes. Caps tend to be blow off when skiing at speed. If any of the male readers are a bit thin on top, please wear something on your head, anything will do. If you fail to do so, you will get burned. Glasses or goggles? I always wear sunglasses with a high UV protection factor. Most goggles have a lens suitable for days with poor visibility and are not really suitable for sunny days. A dark lens is usually available for those racing on sunny days. Thermal underwear or base layers? I usually prefer base layers with a wicking facility, even on very hot days, as I do not like the feel of my ski trousers on my skin. Most people recommend several layers of clothing. The number of shirts or jerseys depends on your needs and the weather. And of course, a good ski jacket. You can spend between £40 and £600. The choice is yours Gloves: Many claim to be waterproof but I have found that the weatherproof membrane gets broken with wear and your gloves will cease to be waterproof. An Australian friend of mine turned up with something that looked like a huge pair of “Marigolds”. They came with liners that should soak up your sweat. I have seen his liners looking very damp indeed. My solution is to have a spare pair. Trousers: they should have a very high back, to prevent snow getting onto your back. Jeans are not really suitable as you may well get snow down your back, should you fall over. Socks: Some people recommend that you wear two pair, however most skiers will wear specialist ski socks with reinforced areas in the foot. I had a pressure point on one foot and found the wearing a thin sock on that foot helped. My advice is, do not listen to advice; do whatever suits YOU. Apres ski wear: Although , it will be cold in the evenings, most bars, restaurants and hotels will be very warm inside. So cool casual should be good enough. Ladies, a piece of advice, bring a skirt or dress. Instructors and workers do not see legs for four months. I realise that a pretty dress needs suitable shoes and such shoes may not be ideal for trudging through snow. So, you may have to carry them in a bag to your destination. A question on clothing that I have never understood; why are knickers plural and bra is singular? I would have thought that it would be the other way round. Answers please, to the webmaster, please.

Ski Instructors Report 1st December 2012

This is my first report of the season and the resort has been open for only one day (Dec. 1) It was very cold but bright sunshine and the snow cannons were going at full blast. The snow was great and there were very few people on the slopes, A really nice day. It seems a long time since my last report in April, so I started to think about Time. Instructors are paid by the hour, so there is no advantage charging up and down the mountain during a lesson descending so many vertical metres (or feet for those born before 1950). I believe that it is better to travel at a pace where the slowest client is within their comfort zone and at a speed that the more advanced skier can improve their skills. It is more important to give value for the lesson time. Now to take a deeper look at TIME; I can just about accept time without end (some chairlifts remind me of this).But time without beginning, is beyond my comprehension. Some religions believe that God created heaven and earth in six days and on the seventh, He went skiing. More secular persons believe that the big bang theory started the universe and so time would have started then. I often rewind a tape on my Betamax VCR. Some younger readers may have Sky plus or DVD’s where they can do the same. Now let us consider, what if there was a DVD of the creation of the universe, and we could rewind it for several zillion years, until the time of the big bang - this must have been very loud and you would have heard it for miles. But what if we rewound the tape for a few more frames, to before the time of the big bang, what would we see? Answers please, to the webmaster of whichever site you are reading this. Let us now consider, the past, present and future. Most modern languages use these three tenses. Let us assume that you are skiing down a slope. All the run that you have covered will of course is in the past. You want to make a turn; this will be in the future. But the moment that you initiate the turn that will already be in the past. The final phases of your turn will be in the future until you have completed them, then they too will be in the past. All this leads me to believe that the gap between past and future is so infinitely short that the present does not exist. Only our thoughts are in the future, any actions we make are immediately in the past. So, if mankind ceased to exist and there was no one to think about a future action, then the future would not exist. So the only tense in existence is the past. I recall a line from the theme tune of “Whatever happened to the likely lads?” From memory it was something like “the only thing that we have to look forward to, is the past.” Now back to skiing. If any of you are coming to visit us in Arinsal in the future, I hope that you have a really jolly TIME. .